Be a blessing

“Our friend fired you.”

The four words were like little razor blades slicing my skin in the most sensitive areas. The corner of my eyes. Between each of my fingers.

It is a small town and I knew that anything I said would be repeated. Exaggerated and then repeated again. Even my facial expressions would be put under cross examination.
I just smiled and stood there until I was able to find a break in the conversation and walk away.

The truth hurts. But I am not sure I was fired. They clearly didn’t want me, but was I fired?

I was offered a job before the hurricane. Every day after the storm I waited to hear when they wanted me to start.

They eventually called but it didn’t go as I expected.The job was no longer available.

I lost my home, my car and now my job. I was hurt and mad. Mad at first and then later hurt.

I drank too much. I made a lot of snide comments. Then I made a lot of self-deprecating comments.

My pride was wounded.

Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways.I began to take stock of my flaws.

Out spoken, but hard working.

Arrogant, but organized.

Unforgiving.

Clearly, I wasn’t perfect and I needed to change.

My pastor talked about holding stones. We can throw them at people or we can use them to build an altar to pray.

I couldn’t let this disappointment rot my insides and cause poison to fall from my tongue. I prayed. A lot. For forgiveness, guidance, wisdom and patience.

I got back out there. I did what I know how to do. And it worked. I am back on feet and have landed in a great place.

Hurricane Michael destroyed a lot of things in my life but it made way for new things. A better version of my life.
I didn’t get to this place on my own. My family and my faith got me here. Instead of being the best, now I hope to be a blessing.